THE DARTBOARD [vs everyone/Pandemonium]

Life is fleeting.

Many humans try to make the most of the short time they exist, to leave behind a legacy, whether through scientific discovery, charity work, family or crime. It doesn’t matter which of these paths a human takes to make them feel like they have lived a life worth living, just the pure fact that they experience this feeling seems to be enough. These are the people who cure cancer, who discover anti-matter, even who go on wild killing sprees.

Their name lives on much longer than their life, which is over in an instant. In no time at all.

But humans also have an odd habit of wasting time with useless activity and there is none more unfathomable to me than the habit of drinking.

Huge swathes of the human race gather in towns and cities, ingesting liquor and ale, knocking minutes from their life expectancy with each dram of poison. Ordell once knew a man like this. He would leave his wife and kids at home, drink himself into a daze and throw darts.

I do not understand why drinking and darts are more important than this man’s family to him, but I understand the beauty of the dartboard. A perfectly circular board, divided neatly into 20 exact portions, each identical to the next.

Ordell’s acquaintance had a party trick: he would consume a concentrated shot of liquor, spin in a circle, and throw the dart at the board. He was able to hit the bulls-eye in the dead centre with ease 99 times out of 100, as he had practised so much. To him, being the centre of attention made him aim for the centre of the board, looking for the 50-point money shot to draw in gasps of adulation.

The twenty equal slices around the bulls-eye, although identical, all have a worth. Each numbered share has a value to it that can only be obtained by skill. The more skill you have, the more accurate you are, and the higher value slice you inhabit with your darts.

Although all twenty entrants at Pandemonium all seem to have an identical chance at first glance, each entrant has a value. Some will barely scrape by, taking a 1 or a 2 and going unnoticed. Many will have a passable performance, hitting a 10 or 11 and getting approving nods from the crowd as they eventually taste defeat.

I, though, am a 20, the highest value slice on the board. And whilst the others in the match will all undoubtedly be looking ahead to Newton, and aiming for the big prize he holds, their aim for the world title bulls-eye will leave them short.

For if you focus on the now, and not the title prize, there is a higher value to be sought. Whilst they focus on the 50-point bulls-eye – Newton – I focus on the win this week, and my dart soaring through the air and taking its rightful place in the small sliver of board called treble twenty, my 60 points taking me ahead of my competitors.

Time to play.