SACRIFICE.

I have lived my years on this earth believing that there is an inherent part of me that is good and unshakeable in its morals. I have found that my belief in this fact is fading with each passing week since Doeburn was brutally murdered. It’s almost like a part of me – that good, moral part of me – died when he did.

I blame myself. His family blame me. Kane himself warned me what would come of my foolish insistence that a monster could shed his skin and become human. And when Kane agreed to do things my way? In his head he knew what Wolfgang would do, and in that moment he chose sacrifice.

That good part of me – I thought I would lay down my life for the good of the world and the good of those I love. But when it came to it I could not lay down my life. I was weak. When caught between a rock and a hard place I chose the rock because it had a layer of moss and thought that might cushion the guilt I would feel every day. Let me tell you, it doesn’t.

I have a lot of time to think to myself as Wolfgang’s slave. I have thought long and hard about sacrifice, about freedom, about what I can do next.

Brent Kersh. You have sacrificed so much in your time here in OSW. You have seen your son die, your daughter lie in a coma, friends and peers fall on an almost weekly basis, but you keep going. It’s truly astounding. I respect you Kersh, for your resolve. You face adversity with a strong gaze, and you say “try and take what you want, but you won’t win”. That is the big difference. I had already lost the moment I let my head drop.

Troy Solveig. I’ve been thinking about your Volsungr moniker lately. Volsungr was the great-grandson of Odin, born to his parents after they had long been deemed infertile. After his father died, his mother spent years in labour, eventually demanding Volsungr be delivered by c-section, knowing that she would die. Volsungr was born, and able to receive a solitary kiss from his mother before she too died.

So, Volsungr, you hold that name with nobility and honour, and with that you must know more about sacrifice than I could imagine. But although the Queen of Hunaland died for what she deemed to be a just cause, would her late husband have felt the same way? Did her family around her think she should give up on life so easily?

There are always two sides to sacrifice. I made my sacrifice, to give up my life to Wolfgang, because the other option was unthinkable. I have to live with that sacrifice every day. I falter, sometimes, but if I fall now, it will all have been for nothing. If living up to my sacrifice means you two have to be forcibly removed from the equation then that is what I must bring myself to do.

I’m sorry, but I have to.