THE ALCOHOLIC ATROCITY

For everything I believe about superheroes and their inanity in this world, there is one fact that is undeniable. It is completely ridiculous but undeniable. A superhero is a modern day God. Many more people believe in the universes crafted by comic book legends than the holy scriptures now, that’s for sure.

I idolised superheroes growing up. They were on this pedestal of my own creation, completely untouchable. I wished so badly to be like them, that only when I became one of them did I realise that they were vacuous, pompous and unnecessary drains on society. I no longer wanted to be part of their pathetic club.

The issue with deifying these dimwits is the ‘what comes next’ with all of them. Sure, you rescue a cat from a tree but can you handle the pressures of your place as a role-model? Sure, you picked up a child and took them out of harms way but can you remain grounded in reality?

I can. That’s what made me realise I needed out of Superhero-dom.

But some heroes can’t see that pressure building. They continue with the only way they know because they think it’s the only way they can be.

Fallen Heroes.

Heroes clinging on to the remnants of what they once stood for, clinging on to who they used to be once upon a time and using that to live on, no longer the innovator they once were, no longer the icon they once were. The fans they used to have for the good deeds they did now only follow them for the notoriety, to see what this washed up has been will do next.

Sorry, did I hit a nerve, Zander?

I was just talking in general, but yes I suppose you could relate everything I’ve been speaking about to you, after all!

For you see, music is a powerful tool, and that makes musicians, and especially front men some of the most powerful beings on earth. They can shape emotion, guide life, and solve crises. It is truly remarkable what music can do. But music, and front men, have a limited shelf life because of their potency, and your shelf life expired decades ago Zander.

With your powers now diminished, and without the ability to influence as you once did, these last desperate ‘fans’ cling on for their own selfish needs, to be able to use it as a way to brag to their friends, or sell their story to the paper for a bumper pay day.

But the truth is Zander Zane, you once were a superhero, but now you’re just a joke. A fallen hero, relegated to an alcohol-sodden punchline to a gag nobody asked for. The only thing keeping you relevant are the memories of what once was.

So rather than you, this week I need to take aim at those last few ‘fans’, and take that memory from them. And when they can’t remember you, you will be just another alcoholic, fermenting your way to an early grave.