THE FOURTH JOKER [vs Jake Jeckel]

“The mind of many men is easily turned. As a race we are susceptible to it. We have a tendency to trust too easily, and follow those around us. There are illusionists who know how to play with the minds of others. Derren Brown, one of these illusionists, has taken people to the brink of committing murder, by pure manipulation alone.

It’s not straight forward though. The man he drove to murder was plagued by hesitation, almost to the point of getting caught. It is this hesitation that is the hallmark of those not fully in control of their own destiny.

A friend of mine once joined a wrestling company formed and ran by Juggalos. He had nothing but good things to say about them – he found them loyal, and generous, and tough as old boots. But they were bound by their belief in the Juggalo mythology. An almost pseudo-religious selection of deities. He once told me of The Great Milenko, an illusionist known as the Fourth Joker Card, whose job it was to trick damned souls into committing hedonistic sins.

A good man, to progress to Shangri-La, the Juggalo equivalent to heaven, must resist and fight Milenko’s magic, and only through resisting this evil manipulation could the damned soul find a peaceful eternity.

You’re a damned soul if ever I saw one Jake. I’ve heard tales of your past, of things that would haunt any mortal man. And that’s why you are constantly fighting Milenko. I didn’t place it at first but then it clicked. One of the hedonistic sins that Milenko prefers is lust, Jake. Who is at the root of your unpredictable nature lately? Calypso. You couldn’t save her, and your thirst for vengeance turned you against even your own brother.

Your lust for Calypso has threatened to consume you, and though at first I thought it drove you to help those of us against the evil in the Tap Room, I can see now it exactly the opposite. Your lust for Calypso is proof that you are losing your fight against The Great Milenko.

But why aren’t you fighting this more, Jake? Well as it turns out, Milenko, as well as being an illusionist, is also a necromancer. The reason you’re not fighting this is clear as day to me now – you don’t want to fight it – you hesitate – because Milenko has offered you communication with the dead – with Calypso.

That leaves us with a problem, because you hold the VHS Title, which we now know acts as a key to this temple. These keys are the only thing that keeps the evil contained, and with you compromised as you are, we can no longer trust you to keep it safe. I don’t just want to take it from you on Monday, I MUST take it from you on Monday, for the sake and safety of the good and innocent in the world.

We have started to take the keys from the clutches of evil, and this week I must finish what we started.”